Even the Thorny moments

We barely have sex and there is no intimacy with or without sex in the equation.

  • I would actually feel better when we didn’t have sex for it I wouldn’t have to endure pain.
  • The sex didn’t have any intomacy just the act of it so when he’s done – great, we’re good.

We sleep in a weird position where he holds onto my hand but curls up. Even if I want to sleep properly in bed, I am forced to sleep like the image below :

Sometimes, I forget so there’s a reprieve from the constant heartache and regret of ever having walked down the aisle with this monster. I need to remember even the thorny moments. A part of me wants to pretend it is all okay and go back to fix the marriage hoping God will miraculously appear and change him into a normal humane being or me into someone who is happy and has no conscious irrespective of what he does to me.

I cannot afford to swipe my memory and head back to him for I may return (if lucky) with a few broken bones.

Via The Daily Post


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