I tell myself that every day is a new day that will bring about a breath of fresh air.
Even when I managed to block out the horrible things he has done lest I forget so I need to be angry with myself for placing myself in that ridculous situation; there a momentary flashbacks of what he had said.
They said that you need to let go.
I’ve physically removed my self from the harmful situation. Trying my best to live my life, spoke to someone to get an independent perspective and now I am truly just upset and angry with myself.
How do you let go of that anger that you have inside for the sheer stupidity and the brainless decisions you have made?
How do you stop the tears welling up for no apparent reason when sitting in traffic or driving or just cause literally as you’re waking up?
So, what do I do now? How do work through this on my own? What does the future hold – do I want to meet another person, have kids or have some goal?
I just want to wake up one day not feeling anything – I want to be able to look and think about this as a matter of fact – It Happened – Okay – So?
There is no immediate fix but to remain focussed on being able to do basic things (wake up in the morning, eat, sleep, work, smile, maybe cry); and hope time will ease the pain.