What Next?✍🏻

I feel like I’m back where I was few months ago. Couldn’t see the future, didn’t have a goal, felt like I had done everything I wanted (ticked off every little thing even the miniscule it doesn’t really matter if I don’t do these);and the only thing left was marriage.

Today, I’m back in the situation where that too has been achieved.. heading towards a divorce (god willing). Same conundrum of what next..

Sometimes I worry that I am no longer as goal orientated, I have become less beilieving in my own abilities and cannot see the happiness in life. I went for an interview once totally non blazee where I asked more questions and sought clarity instead of being eager to get the job.

Not sure if that’s true or not but the last time I felt this way, I stumbled across someone on 10 December and that the launch pad towards a few expensive disastrous months of my life and therefore the biggest mistake of my life.

So what now? What is this situation now a launching pad for? I feel so tired and exhausted even thinking about things and yet large amounts of time with myself also distresses me to no end. Even if I did get an opportunity for a lifetime now, it would require immense amount of energy for me to do anything I feel – but I will yeild incredible results I have no doubt.

What I should’ve done then and hopefully can do now is to sit still, remain calm and not take any drastic action and simple watch life unfold – this by far may be my biggest challenge –

Lest God may say one day, You cried for help to save you for you were drowning.

I sent you a boat, a man to pull you up and then a helicopter. These were all ways in which I had helped.

Yet, you refused saying — God will come..

I am going to try and maintain my faith in God that she’s got me.. she will take me under her wing and carry me home.

Launch via the Daily Post

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s