It’s sad because I never knew what it meant to fail or not give anything my best even if against all odds. Everyone is hoping that I bounce back
from this the same way asa strong elastic band. Part of the process requires me to dig up some painful memories especially those that make no sense and just try and let them go even if it’s via blogging.
I realised though that in a marriage, it definitely takes two to tango. One person may do everything that is required and more. To satisfy another human being and cater to their every feeling (for needs can be met) is quite difficult. No matter what is done, there is always something else..
It is in these moments that you need some appreciation or words of encouragement or love from your spouse or some strong doses of 1800BC spirituality of the perfect wife so I can proceed with blind faith.
Doing the above may be achieveable at best this was the only goal. To achieve this while working 12 hours and yet being mindful of his needs and emotions for the remaining 12 hours of the non working day has led me to become a living corpse. This was not the issue because I was of the belief that a person will change at some point it’s impossible for this not to happen.
The sad part is I realised over time; the change may occur when I am on my death bed which is not long to go if I continued this relationship with him. The other person needs to have some interest in the relationship for the other person efforts to bear some fruit.
I woke up every morning wondering how I could make your day better!
Not sure if you remember, I send you messages, leave funny notes, parcel gifts and make sure I cook, clean, press and massage your feet and body.
Never mind my body or mind was experiencing sheer exhaustion.. I always put you first.
You cannot try to save a relationship when the other person doesn’t want to. I had only realised this recently when he said we needed to see a counselor or we’d not be granted a divorce..
The worst part is that you had checked out of the marriage on the honeymoon itself and you dragged it on unnecessarily. Here I was hoping you’d call when you kept intentionally hanging up on me mid conversation and never calling back; feigning ignorance ..
I don’t want to be part of this mess with you ever again. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
Here’s hoping for my sake I am able to bounce back