Going out of town away from the people that inhibit this house was a beautiful experience. I felt free enough to the point where I could breath again. I couldn’t stop bawling my eyes out while sitting in between two strangers on the plane ride home. I tried to the best of my ability not to cry, to think happy thoughts and I dunno why but I just couldn’t stop the release.
The dread of walking into this house, being forced in interact with people whose presence I didn’t even want to acknowledge coupled with the sheer confinement I felt was overwhelming.
While I am fully aware of the images that pop into my head, the anger, frustration and the inability to simply live with these emotions is driving me absolutely insane. It was good to get away because I learnt to breath but it was tough landing in Tulla because the release was barely temporary.